Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

            It’s really funny how things change. Over time, we begin to develop into the people we will become, and life changes are made without a blink of the eye. For example, when I was a kid, I was a night owl by definition. I would wait until mom went to bed and sneak my flashlight under the covers and read until I passed out. I did this almost every night without fail and was a mess the next morning when I was expected to wake up early and behave like an actual human being. Mom finally got hip to my disdain for the AM hours and got me dressed and ready to go before I even woke up. I would literally wake up dressed, with one ponytail brushed, greased and braided ready to go. The other one would have to wait until I actually turned my head, or woke up. I was also very active as a kid. I could ride my bike for hours, or skate in my neighbor’s concrete driveway in my aunt’s Laker Girl uniform pretending I was Debbie Thomas, practicing my triple lutz and triple sowcows, which honestly was never really more than me jumping in the air and landing safely on my skates instead of on my face... until the street lights came on, and then had energy to spare. When I was a kid my desire was to become a lawyer, because Claire Huxtable made it look so good. I do distinctly remember swearing off boys in the 7^th grade when my crush called me names in front of the entire class and pointed out every flaw in my outfit thoroughly embarrassing me, and let me state for the record, as he will be reading this...LOL...my lime green cross color shorts were fly...thank you....LOL!!

            But now, things are quite different. Now days, I wake up every morning, weekends included at 7:30am, just because. Now days, its really hard for me to stay up past 10 pm, unless I absolutely have to. I will literally scoff at the notion of having to do something requiring exercise, unless it is absolutely necessary, and you best believe wi will be complaining the WHOLE time! LOL!! Instead of practicing law, I am in all senses of the word, an artist. Instead of being a homebody, I ache to travel and see the world. And we all know I have taken back my swearing off of men...lol...but never in a million years would I have imagined that things would have turned out the way they have. The things I value have shifted and my desires for happiness have shifted. The funny thing is that I have a distinct feeling that the things I value right now are going to dramatically shift in the coming years. Once I get married and start having babies and start building a whole family of my own, things will change. I’m looking forward to looking back and envisioning myself in my 20’s and shaking my head at the girlish mistakes I made during these years. I’m looking forward to re-reading my old journals and scanning my brain to recall the faces of the men who took up so much of my time and thoughts. It should be a relief to look back on who I am, acknowledge how those moments lead me to who I will become.

            I guess what it boils down to, every moment is precious, every memory is precious and every step leading toward the future is precious as well. Nothing is going to stop us from becoming who we are supposed to become. I am still very good friends with my 7^th grade crush, and live out my legal fantasies vicariously through my girl, Miss Lee, Esquire. I still read until I pass out at night, just at a different time. I still have a slight disdain for the AM hours, but am learning to let that go. Things change, but the fundamentals are always rooted in a good foundation. No matter what, I will still live my life with high doses of tomfoolery. I will abide by the artists credo, to live and let live, and I will always, always think that my lime green cross color shorts, were fly....

Peace Y’all...

B