Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

“Its like having a TV stand without having a TV in it…yeah…No DVD player…whoa, whoa whoa…its like catching a butterfly in a jar, with tints on it…can’t see its beautiful colors, can’t see it flutter…can’t see its beautiful wings…its like trying to sing…in the middle of a sound proof room…who would assume that you was making beautiful music…music…music…your melody is muffled with silence…”

                                                                                 Leandrew Robinson

            It’s funny because I have been spending most of the morning getting organized. Trying to put things in order and make things easier for the rest of my work week. So I began sorting through various files on my computer, and came across this quote by my good friend Lee. I sat here reading it a few times over and over again, and suddenly, something about these words really struck a chord in me.

            I recently had a “discussion” read: argument (lol) with a friend of mine about lifestyle choices. He told me that he felt sorry for me because I was such a giving person and eventually I would wind up feeling bitter and used and would wind up bled dry because people would continue to use me up until I had nothing left to give. It was funny because I never even thought about it like that. Yes, I give my last to someone in need, but the funny thing, is that I have never actually gotten to my last. God has always provided me with whatever I needed and then some, so I’ve never gone without. I told my friend that everything I give, and everything I do is meant to please God, not man, and that is why I have always been provided for. I think he understood where I was coming from, but as I read Lee’s words today, it struck me, that what he was describing was a life without love. When you are bitter about what life has tossed your way, you don’t notice anything good. Instead of the glass being half full, it is always half empty. A baby’s cry is source of irritation instead of the evidence of a new life, finally being able to speak its piece. It’s crazy how much you can miss by simply being bitter about a situation that happened a long time ago. I know, I can hold on to a grudge forever! I’m still mad at my brother for breaking my gingerbread house when I was 12...just kidding...but I do remember that... But I really had to come to the realization that there was no point in doing that. While you are all upset and bitter and missing out on life, the person who hurt you is not concerned about the situation at all, and is most likely doing much better off then you are. We give people a lot of power in our lives, for no real reason. One bad word from someone can kill our entire day, or one bad look from someone will spark that angry switch and we’ll be ready to fight for the rest of the day, and for what? Letting go of the past and learning to live a life of love and compassion is truly the only way to get past your past. I refuse to let my circumstances, history, or others expectations of me dictate where I am winding up in life. I answer to a MUCH higher authority and I am standing strong on the promises God has given me.

            So yes, a life without love is ‘like having a TV stand without having a TV...” A life without love is like “catching a butterfly in a jar with tints on it, you can’t see its beautiful colors, cant’ see it flutter, can’t see its beautiful wings...” A life without love is like “trying to sing, in the middle of a sound proof room...” who would assume that you have something to give, gifts to offer, talents to share, if you are so swallowed by your bitterness, or so buried underneath your past that ‘your melody is muffled by silence?”

Peace Y'all

B