Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

In preparation for big trip to Michigan I headed over to the local nail shop to get my manicure, pedicure and eyebrow treatment. I decided to throw my upper lip in there just to make sure that all the necessary parts were hair free. So, I headed over there and got my little manicure, and was already feeling a little better. This whole Man look I’ve been rocking for the past few weeks has not been the business, but I've been so busy working I haven't had time for maintenance. But I digress. So the woman who was doing my Manicure had an appointment show up, so while I waited I decided to try something new and get my eyebrows threaded...

I slide into the reclined leather chair and put my feet up onto the foot rest. I take off my glasses and recline, pleasantly surprised by the comfort of the chair. The woman approaches me with the thread dangling out of her mouth and leans over me. All of sudden the thread touches my face and the most awful sound touches my ears as the hair surrounding my brows are ripped out of place in neat little lines. I have never in my life experienced anything like that. I mean really who knew a little piece of thread could cause someone to contemplate their entire life?!! Oh my gosh...The sound wasn’t even the worst part. After what seemed like 20 minutes, she tells me to stretch out my brow, so I have to place one hand over my eye and the other above my eyebrow and pull so she can get a better view of my probably bleeding eyebrow. The zipping sound continued as tears flooded from my eye and washed away the newly released hairs that were resting on my cheeks. And then she moved on to the other brow. In my heart and soul I was truly tempted to tell her that one was good enough, but when I opened my eyes, cleared the tears away and was finally able to find my focus, I saw that the contrast was way too different, so I was forced to suffer through another 20 minute torture session to even out the brows...and then she moved to the lip...OH MY GOSH...if you thought I was tearing up with the eyebrows...it was Niagara falls when she got to my lip. Suddenly that old and decidedly quite potent bottle of Nair in my medicine cabinet was not looking too bad. I mean sure, it had a tendency to burn my face a little, but that heals eventually. I was now emotionally scarred for life and knew that I would wake up in the middle of night in a cold sweat after I dreamed about little spools of thread surrounding me and chasing me down the street. This was not okay. After she finished zipping my face free of hair, she handed me a little hand mirror and I promise, I could not get my eyes to focus on anything. Tears continued to free fall from my eyes and I didn’t even bother trying to wipe them up. There was no point. I doubt that I will ever have to worry about getting this procedure again because my hair is probably too afraid to grow again now...that mess is not the business... Don’t people believe in waxing anymore?! I need to do my research and find a good old fashioned waxer in my area...I fear I will cringe from now on at the sight of thread...I guess it’s a good thing I can’t sew....

Peace Y’all...