Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

This weekend, as I did my spring cleaning, a thought occurred to me, when did I get too busy for my friends? As I rummaged through old love letters, notes and birthday cards, it really dawned on me how blessed I am to have crossed the paths I’ve crossed. I have some truly incredible people at my fingertips and I simply don’t do my part to keep those lines of communication open.

It was really funny going through those old letters and notes. I read the words of the man who has literally held my heart for the past 9 years and laughed at how we both have changed and evolved into completely different people, but the fundamentals are always there. I reminisced on what it was like to be really loved like that and it reaffirmed for me that it is absolutely okay to wait for the real thing. I read through old letters from my roommate at Xavier and was instantly taken back to the days of care packages filled with cans of canned ravioli and chocolate graham crackers, of eating so many packages of top ramen, that the room began to just smell like it, and late night gatherings so we could all watch Jerry Springer. I read through notes from one of my best friends at Berkeley, who would sit up with me all night in the study lounge and “smoke” cigarettes with me and just talk about nothing at all when all of the ‘academia’ of Berkeley was becoming overwhelming and who would let me sleep in his bed when I just needed a quiet place to be, the friend who rode his bike to my house to bring me groceries when I had no money, I read his old notes and cards and wondered why I haven’t talked to him in months. I read through the card my fellow sister of color gave me that convinced me to stay at Berkeley my first semester when I was told that I was not good enough to be here and that I would never graduate with a degree in English, but the words of a good friend, helped me get through that. Where would I be right now today, had I not gotten that note?

We really do take people for granted. I know I walk in the illusion that everyone I love and appreciate will be around forever and I won’t ever have to worry about them not being around, so yeah, I can just call them tomorrow. I finally caught up with my old roommate and learned that my Godson is now in kindergarten. I personally don’t know how he jumped from being born to going to kindergarten in a week’s time, but I always knew my baby was smart! I can’t be too busy for the ones I love. For the people who are responsible for helping me create some of my best memories. The people who can make me smile just from knowing who I was back in the day, when I was Brandee instead of Brandelyn. It’s important to acknowledge the importance of those relationships and work on them, and make sure that they don’t get dusty. We all need people and friends in our lives that don’t have any expectations of us, other than us just being ourselves. I’m glad I went through those old letters this weekend. I’ve sent out a bunch of emails and made a bunch of calls, and I’m so glad to have reconnected with my old peeps. It’s these types of relationships that keep us grounded, and I am truly blessed to have them!

Peace Y’all!