Learning the Differences
Last night, I got into a really amazing conversation about men and women with one of the loves of my life, the MAN who inspired Mecca in my novel. During the conversation the topic of the differences between women and females came up. I told him that he needed to learn to make the distinction between a woman and a female and that before he can even do that, he needs to acknowledge that there is that distinction to make. I told him that just like a good man, a good woman is a rare thing. We discussed the differences between a woman and a female, and while the conversation was very necessary for him, it was also very necessary for me. This conversation sparked a really reflective moment last night, and occupied several pages of my journal until late into the night, but I was able to come to some amazing conclusions.
There are a lot of females who claim to be a woman. To me, the title of Woman is something that has to be earned and appreciated and doesn’t just come to you because you turn 21 and have a vagina. The title of woman encompasses so much and spans so many spectrums that there is no way to encapsulate it into one pure definition. However, there are some general distinctions that can be used to distinguish a woman from a female.
Katt Williams in his HI-Larious comedy special pointed out one of the most important distinctions. You have to be the Ish to yourself. A woman does not wait for a man to define her beauty or worth, she defines it for herself and then gets with a man who can not only appreciate this definition, but enhance it. A female validates her self worth with relationships and with the presence of a man in her life and in her bed.
Another distinction is that a woman doesn’t know how to fold. There might be some times when the wind is so strong and heavy that we may bend, but a woman doesn’t fold and give up. Women have responsibilities and understand that there are no other options but to work it out and handle business. I can say with complete confidence that I have learned that from the women who raised me. As an adult, I can look back and truly appreciate how gangster they really were. I was blessed with being able to see the physical interpretation of this definition. But females tend to run when things get hard and sit around and wait for someone to pick up the pieces for them instead of handling business for themselves.
When it comes to men, a woman knows how to let the man be a man, while still maintaining her own strength. I love the analogy that the man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck that guides and directs the head. That is so true. I hear friends say all the time how men aren’t trustworthy and how they are all dogs and if they can be hoe’s we can be hoe’s too. Let me state for the record, I do not agree. A man is rare and beautiful thing, and unfortunately, is something that is often overlooked or unappreciated because like women, men get disillusioned by bootleg representations of women and are often confused about how to make the distinction between the two.
I can say that for me, I am a woman with female tendencies. But I can also say, proudly that my female tendencies are becoming fewer and fewer as I soak in every lesson life throws my way. I’ve had to learn to eliminate the things and people that cause female tendencies and keep it pushing.
But to all the good men out there, and especially “Mecca”, all of your goodness has not gone to waste. Don’t change who you are, just hold out for a woman who is worth your time. Keep your eyes open for the differences and I love you!
Peace Y’all
B
