Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

What if?

            Every month when I receive my Essence Magazine in the mail, I turn to the back and settle in to read the In The Spirit Column. I recently discovered that Susan L. Taylor produced an entire book based on this column so you know I ran out and got it. As I began to read, one of her essays asked the question, “How would you live if you felt you could trust life fully? If you believed you were totally protected and secure, that forevermore your life would be filled with love and prosperity?”

            I thought about this and thought about the things that are going on in my life and I really began to ponder the question “What if?” What if I was able to live life under the guise that everything was simply going to work out in the end and that every single thing that happened in between was meant to serve as a lesson to help grow and mature me? What if I lived as though I believed love were not just a fantasy created by the media, but was something real and true that could be attained and held on to? How much greater would my life be if I stopped living in what I thought was actually happening and rested in what was going to happen? That would be an amazing life.

            The reality for me is that I focus on the negative. I say this over and over again, but the fact remains that this statement is overtly true. Instead of being grateful that I woke up this morning in my own bed, in my own apartment, wearing my own clothes, I grumble because I have to get up and go to my Job, and my house is a mess because all of the things I have been blessed with are all over the place and I have a closet full of clothes but can never find anything to wear. I get irritated waiting for the bus with the free bus pass that I was blessed with that will get me anywhere I need to go for free from now until September. I grumble about being overweight and out of shape when I have full use of all of my entire body and will soon have the time to get back into the gym. I roll my eyes at the idea of love because of all of the men in my past, yet I fail to realize how much more mature and focused and aware I am because of each one of them. In my everyday life, I chose to complain and grumble instead of looking at the many, many blessings I have everyday.

            The truth is that things are the way they are in my life because of my perception. I have all of the power and ability to make the changes I want to see happen in my life. Currently right now I am in the midst of a huge leap of faith. There is no definite solution to the changes I have decided to make, but I am making them anyway based on the simple fact that God said not to worry and to remain focused on him and that everything will fall into place if I remain faithful and the most important thing is that God cannot tell a lie. So I am resting in that. In the eyes of most my leap may seem unwise and a really bad decision. Lucky for me, I don’t see things through the eyes of others. I am able to make this transition through my faith and by only telling a select trusted few. There is no room for negativity where I’m headed, so for the most part, I’m keeping things to myself.

            When you chose to live your life not based on how you think things are, but how they truly are, you will begin to find that peace you have been looking for. When you try to live your life like it’s Golden, breathing in the air and stopping to enjoy the little moments, you will begin to feel those burdens life, even just for a moment. We are in control of our lives, more than we think. And the funny thing is that Thinking is the first step in making those changes.

Peace Y’all