Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

As I approach a major transition in my life, for some reason, I have been thinking about changing occupations. Of course this lead me to think about jobs I would enjoy and jobs that would be a challenge. But most importantly, it made me think about jobs that I absolutely could not do. Ahem...

1. A DJ...It is no secret that I have A.D.D. However, my A.D.D.ness gets much worse when it comes to music. Once I decide that I love a song, oh boy, do I love that song. I recently rediscovered Stay by Ne-Yo and I have listened to that song 368 times in the last few weeks, okay the last two weeks, but you get my point. Once I get my mind set that I want to hear a song, it’s over. Could you imagine me being on the radio? My DJ name would be DJ Repeat because it would be same 5 artists, playing the same three songs until I get bored or until something new comes out that catches my mind. Seriously, I can’t even listen to BUDDY by Musiq Soulchild anymore, and that song JUST came out. No being a DJ would not be my calling.

1. A bus Driver... For all intents and purposes, I am an LA driver. I will dip on someone faster than you can say speed limit. I can’t stand slow drivers and I promise if you got points for pedestrians...well let me just leave at that. My attorney reads my blog. But the truth of the matter is, I could not be a bus driver because couple my peaking road rage with the tomfoolery of my bay area peeps, I would never get a “Safe Driver” patch. And I overheard a bus driver talking about the insurance they have on buses that pretty much allows them to do what they want (that explains so much) so yeah, being a bus driver, especially for the AC transit, would not be the right move for me.

1. A Teacher: Now, I love the kids...from a distance. Everyone I know who is in the education field are some of the most patient, wonderful people I know. I however, am not the one. These kids with their grown attitudes and lack of home training would probably land me in jail. I’m serious. And it would be different if teachers actually made the money they deserve. It is a lot easier to deal with the kids all day when you come home to your own house with a nice jet bathtub overlooking the city. Money isn’t everything, but it certainly can make your job more tolerable.

1. A Postal Worker: The fact that Postal workers are required to carry mace should be problem number one. What do you encounter on your job that requires you to have some sort of protection right off the bat?! That’s crazy to me. The other things is the responsibility level. I can’t hold the fate of other peoples lives in my hand. Here I am responsible for peoples bills, checks, lifestyles, all of that. I am not the one! However, the main problem I would have with being a postal worker is all of the physical labor that is required. My post man has a truck with which he totes the mail around, but he parks that truck and then trucks himself and a hundred pounds worth of mail up and down the block delivering it. It would be different if the land were flat, well no it wouldn’t really, but the fact remains that my mail man carries one hundred pounds of mail up and down all the mountainous terrain of the area I live in. That is a mess! I know my limitations and walking around carrying a hundred pounds of mail up and down a mountain side is not the occupation for me.