"Happiness is something a person acquires for themselves with their energy and the tools of their mind. Don't say to anyone 'make me happy, please.' Make your own happiness inside yourself and, when you have enough to share, find someone to share it with. We cannot blame anyone for our misery, aloneness and impotence. If we fail, we cannot say, 'It is not my fault!" If we never have anything to give that another person might want, we cannot blame it on our parents, wives, husbands, circumstances or lack of opportunity. We, alone, are to blame. I believe you can survive anything and move on...with the right tools. Move on to seek, to find what you need....in search of satisfaction." J.California Cooper
I have always been a person who simply does what she needs to do to make things happen. I am the kind of person who will move across the country on impulse, just to see what's out there. I am the kind of person who will quit her job to persue her passion full time because i don't believe in wasting precious days here on earth, just to get a paycheck. I am the kind of person who will persue her dream relentlessly until I reach the place where I can sit back and marvel at what God is doing.
Today is a really big day for me. In a couple of hours I have my first book signing for U.G.L.Y. outside of the bay. I have been getting all kinds of emails, calls and texts from people i haven't talked to or seen in YEARS letting me know that they are going to come out and support. I am beyond excited! I already have my pages picked out, ran over the words a few times to minimize stuttering, which apparently I do when I get nervous, and I just have this sense of peace and I know that today is going to be amazing.
I love this quote by J. California Cooper. In life, we truly do have to create our own happiness. We have to determine for ourselves the path we will take. People won't always understand it, but that is the ultimate beauty of it, no one has to understand it but you. As an artist, I have realized that a lot of people don't understand that there is a process to the work we create. Our audiences get to see the final product, but rarely do they get to see all of the tears, struggle, thoughts, drafts, rejected work and sweat that goes into making that work. I don't know if anyone can truly understand what today means to me. There were plenty of times when I thought that U.G.L.Y. was never going to happen and now here I am having my first signing in LA. God is good. And i say that with every fiber of my being. I am walking my path to happiness and fulfilment. I am understanding this quest for satisfaction. Sometimes I may have to take steps that don't make sense to anyone else, but when I have moments when I feel like this, covered in absolute peace and excitement I know that I am definitely on the right path.
Peace Y'all
B
