I choose
“And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.”
India.Arie
This morning as I was walking to work, I Choose by India.Arie came on my Ipod and I suppose I needed to hear it right then, because suddenly the song made so much sense. I have the choice to dictate who I am and what I do. The line that got me the most was the line about being authentic in everything I do…I had to pause and think about that for a second. What does that mean to me?
With my writing, I have stopped trying to force it. One thing Paulo, (yes we are on a first name basis now LOL) said in an interview was that he always writes first and foremost for himself. I am learning to master that art. I have written TONS of stories and poems, notes, ideas, etc, that are for my eyes only and may a few that are for my inner inner circle because I was afraid of what people would think. But I choose to stop over thinking and let it flow. I will write for my own peace of mind and serenity and stop living in fear of rejection or being afraid of what people will think of my work. As long as I am free to continue working and doing what I love, that is really the only point.
In my daily living, I have to stop trying to force it. When I am getting dressed I always fret (yes, Fret) about how things will look or how things fit, not whether or not I am comfortable, but what will get attention, or what will keep me from getting any attention at all. I have to stop doing that. I have been doing much better, MUCH better at appreciating myself and loving all that is Brandelyn and just not worrying about other people and what they think. I want to walk out of my house feeling like a queen, even it there is a hurricane outside and shenanigans are going on around me, my goal is just do me. I have given too much weight to people and their opinions and the time has come to stop.
I decided to delete my facebook account because I was just tired of the gossip and opinions and negativity. I know that as an author who is promoting a book, I realize that may have not been the best move, but for my sanity and serenity, it was necessary.
I am learning to breathe. Enjoy these precious moments of solitude and spend quality time with my husband Jesus and allow Him to identify me and teach me about who I really am. This time in the wilderness is turning out to be a true blessing and I love it. So yes, today I choose, to be authentic in everything I do. I choose to be courageous in everything I do. The time has come for me to walk, bask, bathe, soak in that light God sees in me and believe that I can see it too. I’m excited to have my joy back. The last couple of days were rough, but necessary for my growth. So today I ask, what do you choose to do?
Peace Y’all
B
