Brandelyn: Lyrical Contradiction

Floating through the pastures of my adulthood tasting the slightly bitter tears that stream down the hidden side of my cheeks recognizing that I lost my voice and my arms forgot how to swing and my feet walk slow carefully steadily painting out clearly how much  I miss the me that I lost somewhere in the moments of meeting needs and fulfilling his fantasies I cant believe I forgot  what my screams sound like while laughing with every ounce of my light being considerate of the levels and opinions of every other grown up filling up my vicinity my light has become dim settled comfortable in the fact that my days have blended into reality

Where are the whispers of my dreams the smile I used to carry in my pocket to remind me that color still exists and I miss it flipping through the hardness of reality I want to be alone until I can be quiet enough to recall exactly what was in my space that last time life was exceptionally pure and my steps let do somewhere bright and my emotions felt full long and right and I believed in the possibility of the day and each moment shined past the extension of my sway and I wonder how to find that moment again

Sometimes melancholy feels good against my skin causing me to question every question I’ve ever asked these tears that formed a solid front behind these eyes of mine and today not even my pen can bring down the rain I need

I need to believe in something or someone again while I ease myself back into the space where life makes sense where music gets past my ears and forces me to forget everything except this feeling that I used to call being free

I miss me